Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login

:iconoldforgegirl: More from oldforgegirl

Featured in Collections

Literature by queenofrelax

Written Things by colleenxcatalina

Poetry by IndigoSkyes

More from DeviantArt


Submitted on
January 19, 2010
File Size
1.6 KB


106 (who?)
Dear World,
We are teenagers.
They say we're tomorrow's future,
They say we're tomorrow's hope.
But then…
They say we're miscreants, fools, troublemakers,
They say we're impossible.

But here's a secret-
They don't know the first thing about us.

We are rebels, intensely confused mutineers, wishing so desperately to belong but irrefutably to pull away as well.
We are investigators, we look for ourselves behind every corner, but are stumped nonetheless.
We are lovers, we pour our souls, our hearts, into everything we do.

We are adults because we understand what life is about.
We are children because we hold onto our dreams despite that.

Our beliefs burn bright within our chests, and our passions flash like lightning through the summer air.
Our dreams outnumber the stars in the sky, but blaze like the fury of the sun itself.

We do not speak our minds, but scream them, blasting through the speakers until they burn a hole in your heart.

We may be tomorrow's hope, but we are today's spirit.
For tomorrow, we will lead.
But today we will dream. We will look to the skies before we shuffle to the masses. We will fight today because we will surrender tomorrow.

The force of age is relentless, lapping at our heels.
We will fight until we forget what we're fighting for.
We will change the world before it changes us.

Dear World,
We are the revolution.
And we will never surrender.
This is for :iconthewrittenrevolution:'s "Revolution" Contest. I've also had this in the gears of my mind for a little bit too ^-^

Is there anything I can do to make this flow better or make the effect stronger?

Edit: Changed a few tiny things, thanks a lot to ~kittylitters for the help.
Add a Comment:
This is wonderful. It is powerful and intense and deserves to be screamed in front of a rally. It will instantly go on my favorites, and it deserves to be read by every teenager on this planet. Five stars all around.

One thing I really love is the parallel language and repetition. "They say," "We are," just the repetition of our and we in general. All this definitely adds a lot to the impact you get from reading it, adds to it's power.

The diction is very good too. I especially love the lines "Our dreams outnumber the stars in the sky, but blaze like the fury of the sun itself" and "We do not speak our minds, but scream it, blasting it through the speakers until it burns a hole into your heart."

But there are a few things that bother me a little. In the line I mentioned in my last sentence, you say "We do not speak our minds, we scream IT..." This bothers me. You say "minds" and then "it," when minds is plural. It should be them in this case. I understand where you are coming from though. Just a bit of a nitpick.

I also like how you repeat "Dear World" in particular at the end. It brings a nice feel of a finish to the piece. It ties everything up well, and acts as a very good conclusion.

All in all, a wonderful piece. You definitely deserved that daily deviation.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
7 out of 8 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

Please sign up or login to post a critique.

ArcNovaXIII Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hmm, i have to say this is a well done piece, and i do mean this is well done! great job on the writing dude! So yeah congrats and the flow is awesome!

It gives a feeling of rebellion and also a feel of something we all need to be. We need to be who we are and not care about others. Good work on this one my guy or girl. do not know which gender!
XenocidaEnder Featured By Owner May 22, 2013  Student Filmographer
...we are animals, for we are rather driven be our needs, urges and desires than by reason and rationality.
VladmiesserDiVisker Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I really like the way this is written. Some people hate being teenagers.

I fucking love it :D
TheOnlyWeirdo Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2012  Student Writer church is in the middle of some intense revival and I cam back and re-read this and...YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!!
TheOnlyWeirdo Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2012  Student Writer
Growing up
Is too mainstream

This makes me wanna go out and drop kick something while riding a wombat and blasting We Came As Romans from a stereo system. In other words: you blew my epicosity meter cause it couldn't handle just how legendary this was. Will you write my speeches when I run for president (that is, if you're not running against me).
TheOnlyWeirdo Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2011  Student Writer
I think I already commented on this but I reread it today and I had my mind blown (again) so thanks for the mess ;] its gonna take me awhile to pick up all the peices. This and Future World Music are my new peices of inspiration
LenaDavid Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2011
I guess this is my first Literature :+fav: .. :D ..
bajabbers Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2011
This is a beautiful piece. :)
jimmo0jambo Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2011
520romeo Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
this is an amazing piece. but i have to disagree on it. not all of us understand what life is about, not all of us hold on and pursue dreams, or even have dreams. we do surrender instead of fighting. [or at least the people i'm around with]
don't get me wrong, dear. i'm a teenager too.
Add a Comment: