79. right now

right now it's 6:44 on a tuesday night and she's wrapped up in the heartbeat of early june and the smell of her backyard after crisp rain. she sighs, sliding the phone behind her palms, staring at his name takes her breath away.  her hands slide across the keys – "I miss you" and then it's gone, the message whirling through away through the soggy summer air.

now it's 6:46 and karen kight is lifting her hands off the steering wheel to turn up the blaring radio. "WHOOOOO!" she yells at the red light, but her car comes to a perfect stop, after all she just got her provisional and she wouldn't want to lose it by getting into any stupid accidents. her parents didn't say anything about parties though – in fact, she's on her way to one at this very moment.

on the other side of town, archie davis is picking up his daughter from day care. marcie's telling him about her day, fiddling her macaroni necklace between her fingers, but archie's just nodding and helping her into her carseat. he can't look at her today, today he's missing laurie, like he always does on their anniversary. he'd always said ci-ci was lucky to have mommie's looks, what he didn't mention was how much it killed him inside. it's 6:50 and he's pulling out onto the beltway.

and now it's 6:51 and john feels the phone vibrate in his pocket. he double checks his rearview for cops before he flips it open. "I miss you". he punches in an "Miss you too babe." as he switches lanes. suddenly there's a beep. ouch, a second off and he would have hit the ford explorer behind him.

"STUPID, YOU STUPID SON OF A-" archie's cursing and beeping and yelling from behind the wheel. it's 6:55 and marcie's crying. "Mommy doesn't like those words." "Mommy's dead." and now marcie goes silent, and archie feels his heart sink like a rock. "I can't stand these teen drivers, gonna kill somebody I swear" mutters archie, because he can't find the words of his floating apology. "I mean, really, didn't anyone see that?"

the same thought passes through john's head, and he jumps up when he hears police sirens as a curt reply. he lets out a sigh of relief as they pass him.

karen lets out the same sigh when they pass her, the booze in the back like a ticking time bomb in her brain. she throws tommie's lacrosse sweatshirt onto the 6-pack just in case, it was still in her front seat from saturday after the game, he must have left it somewhere in between the "I love you"s and 2nd base. it's 7:01 when she starts thinking about that night again, and she turns up the volume dial to drown out her screaming thoughts – "What have I done?"

it's 7:02 when the rain starts again

archie's getting more and more pissed with the passing seconds, he can see the teary brown eyes staring him down in the mirror. they're her brown eyes, the ones that he sees every time he blinks, and he speeds up as if he can escape her memory. but instead he starts to hydroplane. marcie starts to scream and archie winces as he jerks the wheel to try and regain control.

but now john's toyota is making contact with the explorer's back bumper as it makes circles. "What the-" he mutters, but his breath is taken away as his car is shoved to the left, ramming right into the jeep beside him.

and now karen's upside down, her red jeep tumbling into the guard rail. she digs her nails into her arm rest as her screaming comes to a morbid halt.

it's 7:23 when the ambulances get there and two of them are already dead. the teenagers at the party won't be thinking of karen kight anytime soon, john's parents won't even call him until 9, marcie's teacher won't think a thing when she doesn't show up at school – bottomline is, there's 5 lives forever changed, and the world walks idly by. It's 7:27 and babies are still being born and people are still dying elsewhere and noone's taking notice.

and now it's 8:05 and I'm writing a story. a minute, an hour, a day later you're checking your messages. but the truth is tomorrow you could be the archie, the karen, the john, and there's not a thing you can do.

you have no choice in how you die, or when.

the choice is in how you live, now.

when you die, the world goes on. live in the forevers because the nows are numbered.